that would bother me honestly if my t had said it's only a little bit weird. sharing that is vulnerable imo. I do suspect that he is not used to doing therapy with people with intense attachment issues. I mean he said it himself right? like I've said before I worry you're setting yourself up for failure here with this T.

my t ordered me a transitional object a few months into therapy. I did not know what one was. but he had been letting me take home small things from his office... like a Queen from a chess set. I think by that point I had named every stuffed animal in his office. he asked what I wanted and I got moosolini... a small beanie baby moose.

I slept with moosolini for a long time. years. sometimes I would take him to therapy with me. mostly if I was struggling. moosolini soothed that child part within me that craved nurturing and love. holding him while I slept helped me to feel safe.

t knew that moosolini had become important to me. one night during a crisis I was having, t came to my house with another female staff member from the treatment program I was in. they sat with me and talked. t helped me to take my nighttime meds and I laid on the couch... t went into my room and got my comforter and must have seen moosolini under it. he brought the comforter to me and put it on me... handing me moosolini and saying here's this little guy. I will always remember that

after a while moosolini got a bit worn out. he needed some sewing repair. on a Skype call with t one winter I showed him moosolini. he said he looked rough. t offered to have him sewn up. next session I brought moosolini and t sewed him up for me

these days I do not sleep with moosolini anymore. he sits on my dresser with my penguin named bob. in acute times of distress I might hold him. moosolini got caught up in my mind games and magical thinking.... I thought if I slept with him things would go badly... so that was a large part of why I stopped.

sometimes when t makes me mad I think about filming a video of me setting moosolini on fire

but that's bc I'm BPD lol