Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarabethlynn
I'm not sure if this would be useful at all or if what I'm thinking even matches what you're really going through, but I hear your frustration. In life I kind of am the person who wants to get everything right and do everything by the textbook, and I tend to really overthink things, or I worry too much about trying to apply everything I've learned perfectly when really the best way to do it is to let events happen and then try some of the different skills and see which one fits best and kind of more learn through life experience. However if you're dealing with someone who's gaslighting you even the best Experts of relationship struggle with that one because it's so toxic and it's just incredibly difficult to have a decent relationship with someone who's doing that.
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I can understand your first part of the post & in the beginning of my marriage I worked hard to do things right & things had to be just so which is a hard habit to get out of. But I can’t just let events happen anymore bec of my age. I’m missing out on my life to make sure everyone else’s life is running smoothly. I’m tired of holding my breath.
Afa gaslighting I’ve used this word at least a half dozen times with my SO to explain how I feel & what it does. His responses to me r always the same as I stated above. He won’t even google the term to figure out the definition! He thinks it’s a made up word.