LT—my advice is be yourself, ask for what you need, and if he can’t cope with it, eff him. I know you’re attached, but this guy is not the sine qua non of your existence. No one is, except maybe your daughter.

I hate to see you wasting precious time and energy on worrying about this guy. You’re an intelligent woman with advanced degrees and a mind of her own. Why dance to someone else’s tune, especially when they don’t know how to play the flute?

(Sorry if I sound crabby, I’m not mad at you and I’m not criticizing, and I know all that is easier said than done. I’m just having an anti-therapy day, and reminding myself that therapists are very much disposable. After all, they consider clients disposable, clients should return the favor.)