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Originally Posted by ElectricManatee
I think too it gives me a bit of pause that he's apparently not very well-versed in the literature/theoretical understanding of how this stuff works. There have been things that have come up in therapy that were pretty unexpected (to me, anyway) and my T said, "Oh, yeah, that actually makes perfect sense because of this relationship dynamic or this developmental thing..." And then I go and look it up and see that she's right and not just making stuff up. So it's not necessarily just being comfortable with attachment but it's also understanding how it works and why and being able to talk through it. I think particularly given that you didn't seem to have parents who knew how to give you what you needed, that aspect of growth could be really important for you if handled skillfully.
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He seems fairly well-versed in attachment theory in general, at least how it applies to children (he explained the ways children react to their parents leaving a room for each of the attachment styles, for example). And he talked about how some people need an object to feel connected to someone while others can just hold that feeling inside of them. So I think he understands a lot of the theory on an intellectual level. Certainly not as much as ex-MC did (he was psychodynamically trained, current T was not), but then...look where that got me...
However, I'm not sure T fully understands it on an emotional level. Like he doesn't get why it's so important to me, why it can be so intense and painful. He seems confused by some of my reactions to things he says and does (while ex-MC never really did--or at least he did a better job of hiding it!). He's learning and adapting, but I'm not sure how I feel about him learning on the job, so to speak. I feel like a bit of a guinea pig.