I think something else that's worrying me is how he's seemed more fuzzy with boundaries lately. In the beginning, he seemed really strict about things like e-mail rules--only OK occasionally, he charges for longer ones, etc. But lately he's been responding pretty much anytime I e-mail (usually within a few hours), not charging me, not telling me it's an issue at all (granted, they're 1- or 2-paragraph replies, where the couple he did charge me for were much longer). And he had said before that texting is only for scheduling and had called a text I sent at 9 p.m. requesting a phone call (because it was weekend) "intrusive" because I included the reason why I wanted the call (I considered a phone call scheduling). Yet a couple weeks ago, he said to text him if I heard news from the program I applied to. I was like, "You mean e-mail?" He said no, that texting was fine for something like that. Which confused me (I'm still only texting for scheduling--actually I'm generally e-mailing for that to be safe). He commented the other day how sometimes during less heavy moments in session, it can just seem like "two people talking" instead of therapist-client, and he needs to be more mindful of that (he was speaking in general about his clients, not about me specifically--just realized that might have sounded kinda weird out of context). And we went 5 minutes over yesterday, and he didn't even notice till I pointed it out (I kept saying "I know we have to stop in a minute" and he kept talking about the topic were on).

How does this relate to the transitional object topic, you may be wondering? In the beginning, he just seemed to have very clear, set boundaries. Which, after MC's loose, shifting, unpredictable boundaries, felt a bit rigid, but also made me feel safe. It felt like current T knew who he was as a therapist and what he was and wasn't OK with. But now? I'm not really getting that sense. It's more like he's winging it, and the transitional object falls under that. Like, if in our first month of working together, would he have given me a transitional object? Hard to say. I guess I'm just trying to figure out what's going on. Maybe it's just a case of him feeling more comfortable with me and adapting to my needs? Maybe he gets like this with any client he sees longer than, say, a few months (it's been 8 months for me, but the past few months at twice a week, so probably approaching a year's worth of weekly sessions)? Or is it possibly some countertransference coming into play? I don't know. I know it makes me kinda nervous, I just don't know how to talk about it. Especially because part of me likes that it's a bit more relaxed.