First of all I want to apologize for my rampancy
Bearing a name as Vibrating Obsidian kind of explains myself - full of fury, frustration, absorbed by the environment, undeserved and not mine to bear

I really wonder how I will be able to recover. My ex therapist shattered all hope within me, and enhanced the scapegoat effect on me, that piece of s***
I'd complain and ruin his career if I could, but I have no one on my side. Even my parents won't help me, they're rather save their skin than avenge me

I try to study, doesn't work
I hope for a relationship, doesn't work
I try to take time to relax and play a video game - it's OK but only for passing time. Overall, I am obsessed with having a successful social status, and hope to succeed in the rough future.
But it seems so out of reach, when I have a corrupt conscience in the form of my ex therapist which prevents me from moving forward

I see a therapist (thank god!), but I'll have to replace them due to diagnostical reasons
Anyway, I don't speak about what happened with my ex therapist because I read therapists don't like to hear about bad experiences with other therapists, so I keep it shut for now

Anyway, I really try my best. Despite my suicidal situation I had some time ago, and despite hardly being able to eat, I crawled myself far away from home, away to the academy where I want to study

I started noticing how much my friends are not there for me, too

But I really don't know how I'm going to make it
I try my best in everything. I tried my best with a crush, even when I felt hurt from her and even if I may have accidentally hurt her. I tried to work it out and figure out how to understand and settle things. I really tried my best

I'm just worn out. Forces beyond me are unfortunately wearing me down. But those forces are in the form of humans just as we all are, and they have to be taught just like we all learn

Thanks for listening, and I really hope someone can help me out
I love you all