Former T was and I both wanted and needed him to be. It took various forms: being available, somehow creating the sense that I wasn't alone with overwhelmingly frightening feelings, and a certainty that for that time of session, nothing bad could happen to me. There were a couple of times when something unexpected would happen--one night someone came into the outer office when he wasn't expecting anyone, and so he was "on alert," went out to check, and it was a former client who was just driving by and stopped in to say hello and thank him (he had moved away from the city). There was a definite sense in that moment of physical protectiveness.

With current T, not at all. If anything, I think I'd need to be the one protecting her! But I don't have the same needs anymore, so it's fine.