I'm afraid if she wants a divorce and "doesn't believe in counseling" that she's checked out. Prepare yourself financially because men always lose more (hey, you make more, right?). It isn't fair, but if she approached YOU about the divorce then chances are she's already saving up - and possibly hiding money away. If she doesn't work, she'll have to rely in alimony completely to raise the kids. And if the kids are older than 18 she won't get any, so she's likely to steal away some. You might be very surprised with how selfish people get during divorce, but remember that even if only you earn the money she will consider it "hers" too and so will the law. If you live in a "no fault state" (google it) then you'll likely lose half of what you own - or more if she can prove abuse or neglect towards the children.

I hope it works out but my best advice to you is: prepare for the oncoming storm.

Find out what is legal and what is not; since you both can't agree on counseling (which any judge WILL suggest before moving your case to trial) then you'll need your own lawyer. Most lawyers will not take a couple as client if the couple disagrees.

DO not do anything like trying to open your own bank account, hiding cash away, or selling "her" things. These are always illegal. Google what steps you need to take if your spouse asks for divorce.

Just prepare: financially, emotionally, paternally.