I need to vent.

Lately I've been doing good avoiding depression. My boyfriend is sicker, which has motivated me to keep my act together for his sake, so I can give him the care he needs. He's just been diagnosed with advanced cancer. This has caused me to rally my coping capacities. It's like I have a mission. I'm finding renewed motivation to be at my best.

He wants to go for some chemotherapy. We talked to the oncologist yesterday. He said it's too advanced for a cure, but some chemo might help him breathe easier. So my bf said he wants to try it. He;s supposed to get a chemo treatment on Thursday.

His adult children live on the other side of the country. Today his son called to tell me that he's coming out. He's worried that the chemo will make his father sick and ruin his opportunity to have some "quality time" with his dad. His dad has been in and out of hospitals very sick for a few years. He hasn't seen his father in at least 6 years. Today he tells me his heart is broken and how tragic this is going to be for him (the son.)

I was doing real well lately handling everything. Today I was too upset to eat all day.