Hi Vibrating Obsidian, I am 54 and I have asked the same question as you "Will I ever be able to recover?" I answered "No." I like that I can let some things in, a feeling of peace, silence at the top of a mountain. Passion, doing something which I never imagined and finding a friend. Sometimes when I am feeling happy I let go of some hurt, it floats away. Mostly, I try to do some healthy things and to take care of things which help me survive. For the rest, I go from telling the whole world to step off, while I rest, and then to reaching out. I like you from what I know of you, I like your vulnerable question. Would it be so bad if you were just you.