Rose, I'm going to be very honest. It sounds like the entire family had their fair share of serious challenges, all around. Perhaps if your bf's son did come to see his father it would put some long-standing issues in place. I witnessed my father die of lung cancer, and it was awful, yes. But the universe seemed to be at work in some strange way. Many old wounds were exposed and even healed by the time my father breathed his final breath.