I would tell her that the "looking in her eyes" thing is making it harder for you to focus on what you and she are saying. And that you need a gentler approach when you're feeling raw. If it's too hard to say that, you could write it down and give it to her at start of session (or over e-mail if she allows that). I've told current T a few times something like, "Today I just really need support, not feedback" (he tends to give a lot of feedback, sometimes in a devil's advocate sort of way), and he's generally been fine with that and did what I asked.