Had a migraine at noon, took an Excedrin Migraine –an hour later, no headache. Another hour, super caffeine high/hyper-ness. Time to go home, caffeine jitters. Eat dinner, do my paper due tonight, go to choir…. On the way there I notice the car headlights are brighter than usual and hurting my eyes. I get there, am fine… we do the song with my solo – that’s fine. Next song, I notice that the piano notes are like nails through my ears. I notice we’ll be doing the 3 pieces I loathe. Next song, I have my fingers stuffed in my ears. As it continues (and the hated songs get closer) I notice my head it splitting with the jarring notes of both piano and sopranos that I moved next to to get away from the piano. The hated songs are next, I tell everyone I have a migraine and go home. Trying to get to my car, I can’t see the road because it is so far below me, my feet must not be touching the ground. I start crying because I feel so unstable, and I might fall off the ground. I can’t tell if I’ll fall down because I mis-step, or if I’ll fall up into the sky and be lost forever. I cry harder wondering how I’m going to drive the winding back country roads and no one is around to help me, even if they wanted to. I finally make it to my car, strip off my 2 outer coats, and just sob. It’s not that there’s pain in my head…. But that every noise makes a vibration that courses through my entire body and my head. The headlights are so bad I can’t go faster than 10 mph to stay on the road – I finally wear my sunglasses all the way. I pass a Target – next thing I know my car is pulling into the Target. A little has taken over and wants a toy. We can’t leave until we get a toy. She wants a My Little Pony. We go in and there’s a bag of Blow Pop Charms suckers in my hand… then highlighters... then there are no MLPs that she wants… but next isle there’s a care bear. Back out in the parking lot, there is no headache. I don’t have to drive with sunglasses… Fun Shine Care Bear is now sitting on my bed with me and there is cherry gum in my mouth from the Blow Pop.
So what happened? A real migraine? A PTSD Response to music I hate- flee? Switching?