Hello Abacaxi: I see this is your first post, here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit. I'm afraid there's probably not a lot I can suggest here with regard to your particular concerns beyond perhaps seeing a counselor or mental health therapist with whom you can process what you have experienced & how you're feeling about it now..

I guess I'm assuming when you use the term "narc" you're referring to a person who you believe to be a narcissist. (The term "narc" is frequently used here in the U.S. to refer to a drug dealer.) So on the assumption that you're referring to a person you consider to be a narcissist, here are links to some articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject of how to recover from a relationship with one:

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-do...-a-narcissist/

https://pro.psychcentral.com/exhaust...-relationship/

https://pro.psychcentral.com/exhaust...-relationship/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/recov...otional-abuse/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/recov...ssistic-abuse/

https://pro.psychcentral.com/recover...ng-no-contact/

My best wishes to you...