Hi all,

I've posted about this before, and here I go again. Sorry to have such a long post. I've been in therapy for a lot of my adult life and I've come to point where my relationship status is the issue that I want to work on. I am single and have been for a while after living with a guy for 10-plus years.

But my therapist just doesn't seem cut out for this topic. She has two different strategies that she alternates with me when I raise the topic. She either goes into one or the other of her schticks (I don't know what else to call them). Some sessions, when time allows, she brings out both of the schticks.

1) The first flavor is: You're kind of like other clients....who have decided, "they're just in the place in their lives where the love that they have comes from the world around them - friendships, work relationships, a spiritual community...etc, etc, RATHER THAN A PRIMARY RELATIONSHIP." Love is an inside job and you're not living well if you are looking for someone to "complete you."

2) The second flavor is: I think this whole search for a relationship is just a trust walk with the universe. Your excellent person is right around the corner and I want you to do your journal and your intention work.

Both of these responses leave me feeling like she doesn't have the tools to deal with me on this topic.

I get the first idea that she rolls out. My life doesn't NEED an intimate partner. I am pretty happy on the whole. I have a terrific job, home, and lots of outside interests. That's not the problem!

Her second strategy was one that kind of made sense, when I was in a certain New Age frame of mind. As the result partly of posting here, I'm doing all the journaling, intention-focusing stuff. It's been kind of fun...

BUT:

I would prefer a therapeutic relationship in which I could explore:
*Where I might meet a guy;
*What am I doing in terms of striking up conversations;
*What kind of relationship am I seeking?
*Have I GOTTEN OUT this week? Or am I expecting someone to break and enter?

Has anyone here ever tried a life coach in general? For relationship-finding in particular?

I am a few appointments from throwing in the towel on a great therapist, because when it comes to being a straight single girl, my therapist just doesn't seem to GET IT!!

What do you all think? And don't tell me to trust the Universe. Please!