Quote:
Originally Posted by IceCreamKid
You might try looking at it like this: name-calling is abuse. Abuse is bad for our health-regardless of what form the abuse takes. The secret to why this happens to you might be in what you wrote: "I try to be understanding..." Maybe you should stop being so understanding. I have noticed people who are caught in abusive relationships often explain or attempt to 'understand' the bad behavior of their partner. But people need and are entitled to boundaries that keep them safe and emotionally ok.
Have you had counseling? This would be a good topic to discuss with a counselor. Personally, name-calling would be a deal-breaker for me. As to why he is doing it now--wouldn't matter. The fact that he has that sort of behavior inside him that he can pull out and use on me? That would be the end of the relationship for me. I hope this gives you some perspective.
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You're right. It's just so weird because he didn't do this before we were engaged. When I tried asking him if he still wanted to get married he got super offended and hurt. I... didn't mean it that way. I simply meant we could still be a couple but not have the pressure of marriage if it was, indeed, pressuring him.
I know it's no excuse, but his work has gotten a LOT harder. So has mine, though. I plan on talking to him tonight about that, actually. I'm not sure he realizes he takes it out on me.
My fear is that I'll waste time being patient and "understanding" and he'll cheat on me. That's what the last guy did because apparently "talking about feelings" made me "such a nag."
I'm oftentimes more emotionally mature than people I date. I think that's what I meant by understanding. Like, that's how he likes to fight. I like to fight by withdrawing and oftentimes people have described that as childish. It's not that if I stayed I'd turn to violence or yell. I just have to remove myself from the situation when someone is screaming their head off at me. It's what I learned as a child...