I know this is an old thread, but I've been reading over it and feel fairly strongly about it, so I figured I should share.

I get it, I REALLY, REALLY do. Emailing my therapist is something that I absolutely agonize over. When I first started with him, he'd email me homework about once a week. And not just attachments, but actual thoughtful words. After a while, he stopped. I think it had something to do with our sessions becoming less CBT-oriented and more psychoanalytical. Since then, our emails have mostly been about scheduling appointments.

Recently, however, I sent him a couple of emails about what we discussed in a previous session (especially when I felt like I wasn't clear enough and wanted him to really "get it"). I noticed that when it's not something more urgent (such as scheduling) he takes longer to reply (days as opposed to hours). In fact, he still hasn't responded to my last one, which makes me feel guilty for sending it in the first place. I hate the idea that I am too much for him, or that I'm bothering him, or that I'm disrespecting his boundaries. He hasn't mentioned anything about his email policy, though I'd like to believe that he would have said something by now if he didn't want me to email him. For me, even a quick acknowledgement would be enough. Like you said, bearing such feelings in an email makes me feel vulnerable, so if he were to completely ignore it, I'd feel a little rejected. I hate the idea that I'm that "annoying patient" even though I know my insecurities are speaking and he probably (hopefully) doesn't feel that way.

I think that, in order to save myself the agony, I will not email him about stuff like this in the future. I find it far too hard to be ok with myself after sending such vulnerable emails (and not too often either, perhaps just once every three weeks or so) and getting no response. He has yet to completely ignore an email, but I really feel that day is coming.