Sorry for the double post. Still new to the forums and didn't realize I could quote multiple people. That makes more sense.

I'm aware. He got even madder when I said it was abuse. Obviously, his dad yelled at his mom (which may explain her silence) and although his dad seems very happy go lucky now... you never know. I've experienced his brother calling his own son an idiot, or not to be stupid, or to stop "begging for attention" when the kid just wants his dad to acknowledge him. I didn't think my Fiance could possibly ever be that way. I want him to get help, but his "attachment style" is avoidance. Pure and simple. He did once say he would go to counseling with me, but I think it was just to placate me. I asked him again and he said "I don't think we need it." Of course we don't - he wins all of the arguments! And what's worse is I'm not trying to win but I know he is. Once he's said what he wants and I stop crying, he's considered it "closed."

Frankly, I'm spending overtime at work to avoid it, too. I just don't know how to approach this but I'm not ready to give up.
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Golden_Eye - I always enjoy your responses. Thank you. And I know you're right. But because of the social situation we are in, it is very hard to just 'get out'. Please don't judge me. He lives with me, across the street from where he works. It's my house. My parents live down the street and see him at work because he works for... well, I don't want to give details here but let's just say he's kind of a "hero" in the community. I know breaking it off would do more than hurt us; he'd lose his job, his home, and... I know you guys don't care because you don't know him, but this is so isolated. He didn't do it before. And no, I wasn't wearing my rose-colored glasses. I mean, what it DOES make me think is that he's lost his love for me and he's fighting it and is mad. Or some other girl is comforting him; not that he's cheated now but he might. He did the weirdest thing. Normally, his phone code and mine are the same but he changed his. I only knew because I grabbed his phone to google something (with him in the room) and then he nearly had a conniption fit. I laughed at him and tried to unlock it and he snatched it back and told me not to do that. But... I've done it before. He said I didn't ask permission (which is true I normally do) and that he changed it to "see how long it would take" before I checked it. Like... behind his back. I only did that once and it was because I have been cheated on almost every time. That part, I fear, is me. I don't know how or why I pick cheaters but I do. Maybe I lead them to cheat? Either way, I could tell our "honeymoon phase" had ended and I was feeling paranoid. I didn't find anything and that made it worse. But now... this... and when I was at his place of work (during a friend's wake) I leaned my head on his shoulder and he got upset and pulled away. I didn't see any female staff watching so I was really confused. But his disinterest in PDA has never been there before. Are the signs right there and I'm just in denial? I hope not...


He slammed doors once or twice. The second he breaks something we will have a different kind of talk. I highly doubt he will hit me though because he will lose his job. We live across the street from where he works. Trust me... he won't. I bruise like a peach and... I just don't see it happening. Not on purpose. He has slapped me in my sleep but that was an accident. Made my eyes red all day. If he hit me it would be the end of his life (and not because I'd hit back; I would never.)
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