So everything went ok. The first thing my T told me was that everything was ok and she wasn't going to leave me. Basically my T told me to ignore all the emails from the past 3 weeks. She said her situation really affected her. That yes, I was a burden at that time, but so was everyone and everything. She said I'm not a burden to her. She doesn't feel pressured by me most the time, except to say the right things sometimes. She said she mentioned "less pressure" as a reference to the past. She said in the beginning, she felt a lot of pressure because she didn't know me and I had a history of suicide and SH. But now that she knows me, she doesn't worry about me as much. But she does worry a little more than a client who doesn't have my history.

We talked about my attachments to people. She said it's completely normal to have attachments to people, animals, and even things. I asked her if I was too attached to her. She said I'm more attached than most her clients. But it's not the level of attachment that matters. It's what you do with your feelings. Do you respect the person and their boundaries, or do you stalk them, bother them? She said you can be the most attached to a person, but if you respect them, the level doesn't matter.

About my attachments to my doctors. She thinks that it's okay for me to tell them I like them and feel attached to them. Again, she just told me to respect their boundaries. And she told me that if I feel like they're mad at me, to talk to her, not them. She said that's a reaction to my fear of abandonment.

I'm so relieved that everything is ok!