Yes, definitely, my T can be quite harsh when I’m struggling. That’s honestly her style, though. And with me, she knows that’s the only thing that will get through to me and get me out of ineffective behavioral patterns. She will literally raise her voice and lecture me about the potential consequences of my actions and why what I’m doing is ineffective. That may sound bad or intimidating to other people, but that’s the only thing that seems to work with me. Usually this makes me cry, stop talking, and feel a lot of shame initially, but then we talk through stuff and I end up feeling better. This often happens when I go to her in crisis/l-mode, and she kinda snaps me out of it. It’s harsh, but it works.

So I guess the question is, did this accomplish the objective that you and your T wanted it to, and is it the best/only way to accomplish that objective? If the answer is yes, then maybe it’s not such a bad thing. If the answer is no, maybe you need to explore with her what could help you more in these scenarios in the future.