((((sujunew)))))) its the best hug i can give you now suj...

i understand where you're coming from... you could have written that about me...

i still cycle like that, up and down... you'll feel your up again i assume, tho i dont know enough to say for sure what your cycle is...

trust is a biggie... i couldnt open up all at once either... it was easier with some ppl tho...

but, in general, in the objective mass view, i felt like you do..

let a little in at a time? trust is sometimes a building process.. we need to feel that what we share is honored and respected and validated...

PC is one place you can find that... it will give you some idea of what that feeling is... how it feels to have deeper friends, friends that will go an extra word or emotion and care... its hard to find IRL ... many are under cover and looking for shelter the same as you... like a herd of turtles, ducking for cover it seemed to me...

but, you've gone brave and poked your head out some.. kudos for you.... keep up the good work : )

give it time.... find support, anywhere you can... PC is ok for that...

hang in there...