This past week i had a dream that I told T. In the dream I was making my way to his office. I couldn't find my way, and finally had to park my car and climb up a ladder and crawl through a tunnel. When I came out the other side I realized I was in the right place but I had left my wallet and my car keys behind. I tried to climb back through the tunnel to get them but I couldn't because there was too much stuff in the way.

I am working through some really difficult feelings of abandonment that my inner child experienced. She (me) has been crying a lot, having suicidal feelings and believed that T has abandoned her. She hung her head down in his office, cried and asked him why it hurt so much.

I think that I have to accept that she is me. I can't leave her behind on the other side of the tunnel when I go to T's or anywhere else. The thing is--she hurts so much she scares me sometimes. The intensity of her emotions is frightening.

She needs a lot of love.