A diagnosis is something a professional makes. Beyond that, you can endlessly discuss the meaning. The danger is that people think that there actually is a thing like BPD or ASD and that all those with a proper diagnosis share exactly that. That they share some neurological pathology.

So while you may want to label yourself, fine. But never label someone else. Yes, his list is similar to a list of symptoms. But this is self-reported and self-censored. There may be things not mentioned, false interpretations, things that exclude someone from the formal diagnosis, etc etc.

So it makes a lot more sense to talk with someone about the things they struggle with. And give advice on adaptations, work arounds, ways to progress, etc. This whole thing with diagnosis is 'I have mental disorder X. So now I can accept that I act like X.' or worse, people start to act out a personality disorder, either consciously or subconsciously, because they think that is who they are.

Now ASD is a not a personality disorder (I thought it was a syndrome, not a disorder). But a personality disorder is a certain personality type that can present in all people, but presents so strongly in a patient that it makes that person dysfunctional. That is all it is. It is not a disease you have. It is not a neurological pathology. It is a behavior pattern you exhibit at a certain moment.

You can exhibit all symptoms of a certain disorder and not have it according to professionals. And even if a professional determines a diagnosis, there is no way to confirm if a diagnosis is correct or not. Or if it means people with the same diagnosis necessarily benefit from the same treatment.

So when you see someone post a list here and ask if they have 'X', by saying 'yes' you only reenforce their behavior. If you don't have Aspergers and you act like you have Aspergers, something is 'wrong'. If you do have Aspergers and you act like you have Aspergers, everything is perfectly normal.

If you feel you need help, sure by all means, ask help. That is not the point. If you feel you need professional help. Sure. I never said that cannot be helpful. Just talking with someone can be a big relief. It is easy to think yourself into a knot. And a health care professional can help you un-knot your thinking. But let's not throw around diagnosis or even romanticize diagnosis.