Quote:
Originally Posted by eelsauces
That may be something I can do. It would be difficult, but I might have to tell a counselor soon. I don't know if I'm ready to yet though.
I appreciate the kind words. I know that logically my mental illnesses aren't my fault, but the feeling of guilt is there. It might not go away for a long time, since it's already been there for a while.
I do my best to think about the whole situation rationally. My mom had a rough childhood and didn't really have any good parental figures, so as upset as she makes me I can at least feel bad for her and understand where she's coming from. My step dad, though... I'm not sure what his deal is. He isn't very nice to my mother, and I kind of resent him more for that.
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Do it when you're ready, but it sounds like you could really use some support.
My dad emotionally abused me -- when I took on the perspective of his rough childhood like you are now, it made sense to me. He didn't learn how to properly support his own children because he had really poor role models himself. That's great you can have perspective about your mother and conjure up some amount of compassion. My dad wasn't all that nice to my mother either, and I hated him for it as a teenager, so I can relate. There's unfortunately not much you can do in that situation except to take good care of yourself and hold onto thoughts about yourself that are more positive and loving. Learning self-love and positive self-talk will be important for your development and future relationships.
