Idk...it’s not always so good. Today I was down and was in a DBT skills group with T (although there were only 2 of us there today), and I kept asking her how I even do mindfulness and then giving her examples of how I was bad st it and how I tried it and it didn’t work. And then finally...she went off on me. See, I’ve been regressing with my BPD behaviors again lately, and she was not happy that I was arguing with her about stuff. All I wanted was help, though. I wanted her to tell me how to do this stuff.
She started going off on me about how I worked too hard to get to this point to be self-sabatoging like I am and to throw all of this away by not using my skills and how this is the most important time to use my skills. She said that if I’m throwing in the towel, then so is she because she’s not going to work harder than I am. And she did all of this in front of another person (who I do not know well).
I felt awful after this. I feel ever more like I want to self-harm. She usually is good at knowing whenyo be tough on me and when to be gentle, but today she got it wrong. She was very tough on me, and I just collapsed under it. I stopped talking to her and looking at her for the rest of group. I went to my car after and cried. I have group therapy and session with her tomorrow and I don’t even want to go. I want to avoid her. She made me mad and upset today and I just needed some dang empathy.