I’ve really, really been struggling lately. Life has been very stressful and I kinda half-relapsed with self-harm (I’m not cutting like usual, but doing something else that’s probably considered self harm). Now I can’t stop, though. And I have been trying to use my DBT skills like I’m supposed to. But it’s just not working. I seriously can’t stop myself. I turned in my supplies to my T, as she requested, and then I went digging through discarded things to recover some to use. (Trying to keep vague to not trigger anyone/give anyone ideas because what I do is...unique...) I feel pathetic. I try and try with skills and I feel like I’m doing them wrong. I can’t be mindful because my thoughts are racing. I feel like my brain is back to pre-Lamictal levels of fuzziness and racing thoughts. I seriously feel like my head is going to explode. And T thinks I’m throwing in the towel, so she said she’s gonna throw it in too, because she’s not working harder than I am. She said I’m self-sabatoging at the worst time and that there’s never been a more important time for me to use skills and I’m throwing everything that I’ve worked for away. She’s right. But idk why in doing it. I feel like a worthless failure. I thought I was doing well in DBT, but apparently not...