I'm very sorry to hear you are fighting with this... I get that way in relationships too, and it's usually at it's worst at 1-2 years into the relationship. I'm not sure why that is, but my theory is because that's about how long it takes for us to get comfortable in a relationship and maybe not be as romantic and involved as we are when we are still fresh and trying to impress each other (just my theory). I've definitely smothered relationships during that phase, but there are also healthy ways to work through it. I highly recommend giving yourself time to process all of your emotions before acting on them. I have a 23 day rule, if I feel like my partner is mad at me or doesn't like me as much or something like that, I put a note on my calendar 23 days out and I don't say anything about it to them until day 23. Any time I start to get anxious about it, I just look at my calendar and tell my anxiety that we will address the issue on that day. Having a game plan makes my obsessive thoughts a little more easy to manage, and usually the feelings have passed well before day 23. Another thing that helps me is to journal my fears. It's so easy to get lost in your own head, but when you see your thoughts on paper it's a lot easier to see when they are irrational or incorrect.

In my experience, it does get easier - for me usually around 2.5 years in. In the meantime, I highly recommend taking time to work on your self-worth because at the end of the day, fear of being abandoned by your loved one is often indicative of deeper self esteem issues. Wishing you the best! <3