My Support Forums - View Single Post - Death- expected vs. unexpected

nonightowl · May 16, 2018, 01:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ohmydaisy

I was merely responding with my own experience with both expected & unexpected deaths. Not speaking for everyone, but from my own experience. It was more difficult for me, still is, with how unexpected his death was. I didn't say that I wanted to say goodbye, but I would have liked more time with him, as he was only 24. My brother was killed and massively injured. DOA. We were only allowed to see his hand.

Your way, your thought process does not help with my loss.

I was going to say something along those lines but you said it perfectly.

I'm sure you wouldn't have wanted him to suffer a long, lingering terminal illness instead so you could have more time with him. Everyone's grief/loss is different.

I thought the comment about having him suffer instead minimized your pain or downplayed it.

And thinking of him suffering instead of having a sudden death wouldn't help me either. That's because as I think I said below, I lost a good friend suddenly and unexpectedly about 2 years ago. I wish I had more time, wish I had told him some things.

This opposed to losing my mom after she wasted away from cancer. Both are painful but in different ways. And no, I wouldn't have wanted my friend to suffer a long terminal illness, with mom dying suddenly and unexpectedly. Neither one is easy.