Thank you for all your advice.
I felt really scared to post anything, as I am sensitive to people feeling hurt by my words or actions. However I just feel so helpless in this situation...so I took the risk and have kept reminding myself that I am not a bad person, I'm just seeking help.

I really appreciate you hearing what I had to say and taking the time to reply. Feeling heard is a need that I don't get met in my relationship and I understand that it is because I am with someone who has many challenges of her own to juggle, right now. It's definitely been a lonely road to walk as many of my friends are starting to distance themselves from us (which I also understand), so I really do appreciate it.

My girlfriend and I talk a lot about emotions and mental health, so it feels like I'm not being honest with her if I don't share my thoughts and feelings, especially as she says she wants me to do. It feels disrespectful not to be open with her..
Luckily she is agreeing to see a couples therapist with me.

We tried couples therapy before, and it was extremely frustrating as she refused to genuinely participate. The good thing that came from that was her willingness to see her own therapist, which she has been doing for almost a year. She still needs a lot of encouragement to continue to tackle some of her trauma but I think we are on a good track.

Thanks again for listening, best of luck to you all on your own journeys.