Hi all. It's been a while since I've been on this forum and I hope everyone is doing well. Sorry, this will be long...

I've gotten a new therapist and I've been with her for a little over 2 months now and something happened this past weekend that made me feel uncomfortable. I don't know if I'm overanalyzing but some of the things that have happened are:

-She knows my social anxiety is bad. I have been making efforts for the past two years to meet new people and I've gone to groups, art shows, even some lowkey parties, and I made two new friends from it. However, I've been becoming more reserved (maybe since I just started a new job?) and I want to get back out there but if I put myself in a situation that's too big for me, I dissociate and I have to get out of there. So her solution was to give me an assignment: go to a restaurant and talk to random people there. That is too big for me and, needless to say, I couldn't do it.

-I've gotten into some situations with people I've just met (they're very nice; we just haven't seen eye to eye on some things, which is natural) and I always try to see things from other people's point of views. The problem is that the sessions always end up being about the other person and how they felt and how I have to make things right and it's rarely about my feelings but twisting my feelings around to focus on the other person.

This is the big one:
So for Mother's Day I got my mom and grandma a bouquet of flowers. I got my mom a big bouquet (because she's my mom) and I got my grandma a smaller bouquet of roses, since my mom was going to get her some gifts. My grandma is very expressive. She didn't like the bouquet. Then when my mom got her some new clothes as a gift, she said, "Clothes AGAIN?" My grandma is like that. So I told my therapist about how I was a bit annoyed with my grandma. Now she knows my grandma was sexually abusive to me as a child and emotionally abusive for around 20 years (she still gaslights even now). She said to me, "Are you sure you're not seeing your grandma's behaviors through tinted lens? Because sometimes when we have a bad past with a person, even their breathing annoys us." Then she said, "You're going to have to pardon your grandma at some point. I have a friend and, I'm not saying this is you, but she had a hard time forgiving someone and I told her, 'Don't you think it's a bit egotistical holding that over someone's head for so long?'" I don't know why that hurt so much. Maybe because it felt like it was indirectly made towards me. I got frustrated and she said, "You have a short fuse." So I said, "I apologize for being frustrated. I just feel like we talk so much about other people's point of views that my feelings are invalidated." Her solution? She wants to me to talk about my emotional and sexual abuse next time we meet. I said I was nervous, to which she replied, "We don't see each other next week so you'll have time to prepare."

My thing is that it took me over a year to talk about my abuse with my old therapist, and she was patient. I don't think I'm ready for that as yet and the whole thing has me nervous. I feel like I'm being pushed too much and...I dunno. I don't get that empathy from this new therapist like I did from my old therapist.

I leave each session thinking, "Am I a good person?" I've been questioning that since I started therapy and I don't think that's a good sign.

I tend to overanalyze and I don't want to do that in this situation but I feel like I'm going too fast and my feelings aren't being taken into consideration.

Am I making too much out of this?

Thanks to everyone who read this. I know this was a lot. >__<