I think you've been very brave and i'm so sorry your T has handled things very badly. The part that stuck out for me in your post was the ending: "she also has a temper and often gets cold and backs away until everything is sorted". This would be a red flag for me- because for me it feels very unpredictable, like you would have to walk the line and be on your best behavior so you don't upset her. I have two child parts aged 4 and 7 they need safety, consistency and trust to come out in session . I would trust your child's inner instincts with this woman and find another T.