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I haven't yet gotten to the part where they talk about prevention...

Prevention information starts around page 48. An excerpt follows:

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Raising Sexually Healthy Children
Raising sexually healthy children is very important to abuse prevention, not to mention, a child's overall development. We unfortunately live in a society where sexuality, and more important, the sexual organs, are treated as something dirty and disgusting. We learn from a very young age that we should be ashamed of our sexual organs. They are something private and not to be discussed. They must be covered at all times and kept to ourselves. The words penis or vagina are often times regarded as dirty words or as "potty talk". This is something that has to change in order to better protect our children.

Because of this type of upbringing, children learn to feel ashamed of their sexual organs and therefore uneasy when talking about them. It creates an uncomfortable barrier between the child and parent when it comes to anything on the subject of sexuality. This then leads to cases not being reported and will subject the child to more abuse. It also amplifies their emotional burden and shame from the abuse.

Children need to be raised in a sexually healthy manner in order to be truly protected from sexual abuse. The bottom line is, how do you expect a child to be able to tell you someone may be doing something bad to their body if he or she can't even speak about their private area comfortably? If they can't even say the word penis or vagina in front of you in comfort, how do you expect them to be able to tell you about sexual abuse, something much more uncomfortable?

Defining a sexually healthy child
So what then is a sexually healthy child? Does this mean that children know every little detail about their sexual parts or what they are used for? Does it mean that you will need to go over sex education with your 4 year old? Quite the contrary. A sexually healthy child is simply a child that is comfortable with all parts of their body and does not show any shame when talking about his or her sexual organs. A sexually healthy child will be able to tell you "my vagina hurts" without giggling or being shy. He or she when asked to name his or her sexual parts will show no shame or discomfort in doing so. Children are born either a girl or a boy. Their reproductive parts are as much a part of their body as their fingers and toes. Why should they be ashamed of their sexual organs?

It also means that children are raised in an environment where human sexuality is addressed, not shuffled into a dark closet. When parents hush questions and the natural explorations children have that are of a sexual nature, the result is they close down communication of that subject with their children.

Out of all the abuse precautions you can take with your children, this is one of the most important. Many parents often close the environment in an attempt to protect their children. They throw a fit if their child is naked. They make a big deal about gentials being "private" and to themselves. They hold back on shorts or skirts for the fear that it is showing too much. A molester will not care what your child is wearing. A molester does not need free-spirited children who are allowed to go nude to do their work, in fact, they would prefer otherwise.

A child who is uncomfortable with talking about his or her sexual organs will have a harder time telling anyone that someone is doing something bad to them. A child who is raised in a closed environment has only the information a molester gives them regarding sexuality, what is normal, and what isn't. A child who is raised in a closed environment, plain and simply, makes an easy target.

So what does this mean for parents? Raising your children in a sexually healthy manner will require some slight changes in yourself and your lifestyle. It does not involve uncomfortable heart-to-heart talks, or major household changes. Rather, it simply means altering your home lifestyle to allow for an environment open to sexuality. Taking responsibility for your children's sexual development, rather than running from the issue and leaving them to gather insight from others.

Some guidelines for sexually healthy children[*] Children's natural self-expression is encouraged, not punished.[*] Honest answers to sexuality are given when asked, though in child friendly terms.[*] Children are taught to speak of their genital area freely, without shame.[*] Human sexuality is not resorted to uncomfortable talks, and it is not hushed, but rather means honest answers to children's questions as they arise.[*] Sexuality is dealt with as soon as children are surrounded by it. (2 or 3 years old)[*] Steps are taken to counter the influence children learn from media regarding sexuality, when it arises.[*] Raising children to be comfortable discussing <u>any</u> subject with their parents.

Source: Parent's Guide to Prevention [PDF File]



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