Yeah, I think it's really in your boyfriend's court to address directly with her. Can you talk to him and make it clear to him that you and everyone see it very differently than he does, explain your feelings to him and request that he put a stop to all of it? If he cares enough, he will, and I suspect that he does care enough, given your description of him. I've asked boyfriends to do that before, and they have done so out of courtesy and respect for me.