{{{{{{{{{{Somewhere,}}}}}}}}}}}} I see we are basically on the same page and also, have some similarities in our background.

I'm with you on the crying child needing attention and nurturing. The harder you tried to make him go away, the louder he cried.

I'm with you on feeling like a failure although I never felt like a burden to my mom. She was always too concerned about hermom. My problem now is believing that my mother was right. I'm a failure and too stupid to accomplish anything good. I argue a lot with that voice that says I'm stupid. I'm not!

Like I said before, my mom was born with a physical disability, but she didn't let it stop her from meeting her responsibilities head on. She had been a teacher before we moved to the states, yet there were years that she had to work in the blue jean factories where they had quotas. She not only met her quotas but surpassed them. Her co-workers got mad at her because an old, crippled woman was making them look bad. I remember her hands that were usually soft as silk, being stained blue for the heavy canvas jeans used to made of, her fingers split and bleeding from doing work she wasn't used to. I admire her strength and her faith in God. I haven't been able to accomplish that myself... to be self-sufficient.

You're right. This isn't necessarily a fight we have before us. It's more an acknowledgement that there is some hard work we have before us. I, and maybe you, too, have a child we need to reparent and nurture, to give validation to, to tell that it's alright to be a playful child and give permissions that weren't given before but are really okay. And we, as proper parents have to set limits, give a healthy amount of whatever that child is missing.

So why is it so easy to say and so damnably hard to do???

<font color=blue>This above all: To thine own self be true. --Shakespeare</font color=blue>