I dont see how your h was ever okay with your midnight calls and emails to MC. Its like that insurance commercial where the wife comes downstairs in the middle of the night and finds her h talking on the phone, and he claims hes talking to an insurance guy, and she gets on the phone and yells, "what are you wearing?", and the guy says, "uh... khakis and a red polo shirt?" The wife is obviously delusional.

You SAY you want a better relationship with your h, but what does that mean exactly? You said in another thread today, something about maintaining delusions. Maybe step one is working on deleting the delusions between you and t. THAT would be what i would call, working on the transferential relationship.