Quote:
Originally Posted by Erebos
Me...I am the one who gets quiet. My fella is the one with all the crazy that I am gonna leave or we are gonna split up.
Now I can't ever imagine breaking up with him. But sometimes I do wonder if I am the right person for him.
If I do all the stuff I am meant to do to make him feel loved and secure...But he is still freaking out, so I wonder, maybe I am just not the right person, or maybe no one is, maybe he just doesn't need a relationship right now.
These are all things I think about, because I hate to see him hurting...and there are times when being with me sure as hell isn't making him happy...so then I am stuck at an impasse.
Because I love and adore him, and his freaking out doesn't effect me personally, except in the sense he isn't happy...And all I want is for him to be happy...whatever thAt entails.
Hope seeing it from the other side might shine a light somewhat.
I mean obviously your fella might not be thinking any of these things...It's just an example of the other side of the coin. Sometimes thinking is just that, sometimes you know you can't change things you just wish you could.
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I really do appreciate this perspective. I know me freaking out around him can’t be any fun for him. It’s a very paradoxical loop.. I’m anxious about always doing the right thing, but in doing so I end up making things worse!
I had an interaction with an anxious lady today who couldn’t find her wallet... she was behaving sonerratically and was telling herself to take a deep breath as her husband stood next to her calmly. I really don’t want to “be that person,” no offense to her, especially since I know I’ve publicly humiliated my boyfriend by being anxious. It was just a good reminder for me that I don’t have to worry half of the time I do.