View Single Post
 
Old May 19, 2018, 04:27 PM
rdgrad15 rdgrad15 is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,749
Quote:
Originally Posted by mumblyocelot View Post
I apologize TOO much, which might get annoying. In my topic in this sub-forum I discuss how I’m always worrries about upsetting my boyfriend. That leads to a lot of unneeded apologies. He’ll frequently say, “what are you apologizing for?” in our conversations simply because I take the blame for everything.

If something bad happens to us, I get mad at myself for not be proactive enough.
If he seems upset though he really isn’t, I got anxious and do a general apology.

I do agree that if you think you’ve offended someone, it’s best to clear the air and try to take responsibility. But if you’re self-destructive like me, just be cautious of how often you say you’re sorry. I lack the confidence I need because I’m never 100% sure I’m doing what other people would expect of me, and that really shouldn’t matter.

Edit: to answer if you should just say “you’re fine” to people who upset you, I think it depends. If it’s a minor offense, yeah. But if they’re a regular part of your life and they have a habit of doing whatever it is that bothers you, it’s probably good to address their actions as to avoid passive aggressive conflict. I know there have been times where a friend or my boyfriend does something that I don’t agree with, and it’s so much worse to let it drag on than to be honest with them. It really depends, though, again. If they mess up one time on one thing, no need to make a scene.
I agree. I tend to say sorry too much too especially since I feel like people dislike me if I make the smallest mistake. And yeah I agree, if it is something that keeps happening or is much worse, then yes I would say something. I only say “You are fine” if it was very minor and it was one of the first couple of times it happened and they were proactive enough to apologize. I agree with what you said, if they apologize, no need to make them feel worse. They admitted their slight wrongdoing so it can be dropped.