Quote:
Originally Posted by Amyjay
I don't know if I can articulate my sense of this very well, but here goes.
In this interaction I am imagining a line with you on one end and T on the other. He has offered something to you and placed it somewhere along the line, but definitely not at your feet.
With MC you were able to tell him what you needed and where you wanted it placed and much of the time he was able to do that for you. This enabled you to regain and maintain balance/harmony/a sense of safety.
You have clearly told this T what you need and where you need it to be placed and he is willing to talk about this with you but wants to think about it a bit more first. He doesn't want to repeat what happened with MC because honestly that didn't move you very far across the line.
Maybe T wants to place the things near you, but not right at your feet so you have to take a few steps out onto that tightrope of life. From all you have said about T I think his hand will be there. Maybe you just have to take a few wobbly steps to grab it.
I think in general most growth takes place in that uncomfortable zone.
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This makes sense to me. I guess it's sort of like the cliche about how giving a man a fish feeds him for a day, while teaching him to fish could feed him for life. If T gives me what I need to stay where I am on the line, then I won't make any progress. But if he gives me enough to make me feel safe stepping forward a bit, then that could help teach me.
It makes me think of when ex-MC recommended that H and I do this ropes course together. Like walking on stuff suspended in the air while attached to a harness. I was OK with the idea at first, but on the very first...obstacle? I leaned back a bit too much and felt like I was going to fall, which really freaked me out. And then I really struggled with the rest of the course. The obstacle in the middle was this suspended log without anything really to hold onto (I was on the harness) and it freaked me the hell out. Like I was standing there crying, terrified (H had already gone across). But...it was also the middle of the course, so I'd have to either go back and do the first couple obstacles again or go forward. The guide came and ultimately helped me across, and I was able to finish the course. It was scary as hell, and I opted not to do the zipline we'd paid for (H also chose not to). But I made it.
So maybe this is kinda like that? Where I might be scared of falling, but I'm also attached to a harness, so I'm technically safe, despite the illusion of being unsafe. And I'm sort of in the middle, so I may as well move forward instead of backward.