This is something I need to give more thought to. Focusing on him helps me feel safer and more secure, which I think I need to help me move forward. But ultimately, I guess I need to move forward on my own?


So...maybe I need to find a way to get that safety/security without making it about the T, without needing to get that from him. Because I want to feel more confident and secure in myself, without needing the outside reassurance or approval (whether from T or other people in my life). I want to be autonomous, to feel confidence in making decisions, to be able to trust myself, to assert myself and stand up for myself. Being dependent on T won't get me there.

Maybe some of this is fear of managing on my own? That it's easier to depend on someone else? Something I need to think about...