I wonder if this is a cycle for you LT? (It is for me) Where you attach a certain way and, even though it is not helpful, it is familiar and safe. So then you try to follow a certain pattern? I know I do this, but current T has boundaries that are very solid. I don't use the word strict because she's not, she is just very clear. This is a different pattern than the one of transference that I have followed in the past and as such I have zero transference feelings after 1.5 years. It feels much safer.

That being said, I know that I wouldn't find it helpful if someone used the language he used.

I feel like with my T I have learned that getting caught up in the details is just a distraction and I am trying to focus on the bigger picture. My T does agree with "meeting me where I am" though, she is very non judgemental.