Quote:
Originally Posted by vafhj
The strange thing here is sometimes, it feels like I'm only faking the unrequited crush to myself in order to hide from my issues. But also, it feels like it's real at the same time, and I know so because I would not mope over that guy if the feelings weren't real. Also, BTW, I used to have this issue that I thought I had to exaggerate/or fake crushes in order to um, I dunno if this makes sense, but I actually used to exaggerate crushes to myself in order to feel like less of a slut, like, I wanted to hide from my real, trashy taste in guys. At the same time however, I wouldn't be moping if the feelings weren't real, eh?
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Admittedly, this is probably the most disappointing crush I've ever had. In the sense that there's this chemical rush that comes right through me, and then I realize I've gone "no contact" with that forum and that if I were to post again, I'd just get shouted at by the likes of him. (Not compeletely no contact though, I still lurk.)