HI everyone. English is not my first (or even second) language so sorry for spelling mistakes.
My name is Anna I'm 27 years old and going to a therapy to this gorgeous blue eye therapist (women ) for over an year. Im totally obsessed about her and don't know what to do about this passion anymore. I talked to her about that and asked her to reveal her feelings in order to crush any expectations that something will ever happen between us but she wouldn't tell me how she feels about me. Weirdly, regarding the fact she's married for 20 years I really feel that she does have attraction towards me and I can't just ignore it. Now I'm starting to feel unbearable jealousy towards her really ugly husband I'm feeling sick with the idea that she's having sex with him. I'm really discussed by it and don't know what to do with it. I obsessively Google her and her husband trying to find out at forums what are the chances for couple married 20 years have a disent sex life. I feel that she in a sadistic way enjoys me suffering. In the past a had counslers that I was getting a vibe from them that they want me and eventually we slept together what make my obssesion magicly vanish. And know I feel the same with her. I feel I loosing my mind and just want to know if she's also wants me. Im thinking about replace therapist lately but don't have the balls to do it. But I can't stay in this obssesion either. In the last couple mounth I don't talk to her and resent her and just thinking how can she sleep with this uglyass man, and not with me? (I didn't tell her that) so please just tell me what to do? To demend an answer from her about her feelings or just leave the therapy? It consuming me and I can't bare this pain anymore. Thank you......