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Originally Posted by SalingerEsme
Your T seems so very interested in working with you, but he is definitely a little judgmental. I truly think coming in with ex MC and ex T as live players had him alert to all this ahead, and vowing not to repeat any patterns(?) . If he doesn't understand attachment in adults, he might be offput that you DID transfer your focus from MC to him in a sense, (and that is what makes it a nice attachment issue, and not 10 percent creepy  . |
Thanks, glad you also think he's judgmental! I do get how he might not understand how I'm just sort of, well, transferring my transference, especially as he is probably trying to be very much unlike how MC was to me. He may not fully understand that it's "male authority figure who listens to me" vs. the specific person.
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Anyone would feel judged by a vulnerability expressed about the stone, and the listener reacting by saying whoa, that is too much intimacy. You thought that was safe, and he threw up a stop sign, maybe bc he is now outside his scope of practice, and knows it more than any personal rejection.
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Thanks, helps to hear you say that. A big part of it too is that I took him giving me the stone as a sign that he *was* OK with the attachment...so to find out it was basically the opposite, that he felt sort of pushed into giving me the stone and hasn't felt comfortable with it, is especially jarring.
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He is definitely out to compensate for MC IMO by being rock solid , but he also likes you.
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Yes, it does seem he likes me, whether it's me as a person or the challenge of figuring me out, or maybe both. Rationally, I think to myself that if he wanted to stop working with me, I've given him multiple opportunities, various "outs" so to speak, the most recent being Tuesday when I said that maybe I should just leave. It's not like he was all, "No, don't go!" but I got the sense (from his body language) he was disappointed by that and wanted me to stay and keep talking and was glad when I did.
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I can't wait to read this. I heard a podcast discussing this book on how the clinicians came at the problems in treating us utterly disparately depending on their training and theoretical orientation and if they keep up with scholarship in the field. The thing is, they don't even always understand one another, never mind us.
https://www.amazon.com/Conundrums-Pr...d+predicaments
I do think you are so educated on attachment theory that you might know more about it than T's not practicing that way.
Attachment Disturbances in Adults: Treatment for Comprehensive Repair
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Looks like an interesting read! And yeah, T has said several times that I probably know more about transference and attachment than he does...