Quote:
Originally Posted by SalingerEsme
Yup, underneath , the conversation is about the legitimacy of doing work in attachment theory/ anxious attachment v the T being worried you use romantic loves/ crushes on your T's to avoid your real life, and not wanting to be the object of that because 1) it is bad for you 2) he saw you do it with MC and discussed with MC and mediated 3) you are likable and he might be tempted to relax his boundaries 4)he is getting nudged outside his comfortable scope of practice ( which you asked from day one) 5) Any countertransferance he has about being loved/ focused on . And Actually I cross the line in my head now and then- even though I adore my SO more than my T, there is something about the "I love you I don't love you tell me more how do you feel about me in the room right now peek a boo ",The Relationship stuff, that is preoccupying  . The T's make it happen, then don't want it - in a way. |
Thanks for the comment. Responding to each of your numbers, cause they're a bit different!
1) Yes, it does seem like T is looking out for me. He saw the end of my relationship with MC and how painful and destructive some of that was. And in my descriptions of other parts of the relationship, I think he sees how it didn't help me...
2) Not totally clear what you mean by part of it, as T never directly mediated anything with MC, if that's what you mean. MC did talk to him once, but it was just MC sharing info with him (I didn't allow T to talk about me at the time), and I'd talked about us all meeting but never did.
3) This is actually something that occurred to me and part of why I said something (forget if in e-mail or in person) about whether it was any client or me in particular where he'd feel uncomfortable with transference and, say, the stone representing him. Because part of me wondered if he'd be less uncomfortable if, say, it was a 16-year-old boy. Rather than a woman around his age. Not that I'm all "oh, I'm irresistible, of course he'd be attracted to me." Just...I don't know, maybe he's felt, say, too relaxed around me at times, like if we're just joking around and chatting during session (his thing about "just two people talking").
4) Yes, he might be worried that he's going to fail me on a professional level because it's outside his scope. Like he feels out of his depth. So he's feeling less confident than if I was like, "Hey, I'm feeling less confident when I'm at bat than I used to--help!"
5) I do think some of this may be his own stuff. Like maybe he feels uncomfortable having people look up to him too much (opposite of MC!) or even possibly having them be attracted to him, if he thinks it's about that.
And for the last part, yeah, I get that. Ex-MC at one point said how the therapeutic relationship can be "seductive."