Hello noidea…: I'm sorry you are struggling with so much depression. I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

By the way... the key to being here on PC, at least from my perspective, is to post your own threads regularly & reply to lots of other members' posts. Soon you will find yourself becoming an important member of the PC community. Plus there are the chat rooms where (one your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved) you'll have the opportunity to interact with other members in real time.

Here are links to some articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject of healing from depression. Perhaps some of the information in these articles can be of some help:

https://psychcentral.com/lib/strateg...ng-depression/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/6-step...ng-depression/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/6-more...al-depression/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/7-ways...al-depression/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/tips-fo...ur-depression/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to...-without-meds/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/3-ways...ough-exercise/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/5-tips...of-depression/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/the-ma...sts_position=1

Also... take a look at this depression-specific forum sponsored by PsychCentral. You may have noticed it mentioned in a couple of the articles above:

Project Hope & Beyond

My best wishes to you...