Well... you received some solid advice from ArchieAus. I will say that I used to work with people who'd had work-related injuries... many of them involving herniated discs. And I have a herniated disc myself that impinges on my sciatic nerve. Thus I also have the sciatica. So I know first-hand, from both professional & personal experience, how complicated these situations can be.

On the other hand, I'd have to say that 12 or more beers every night is a lot of beer! (I don't drink anymore at all for the most part. So maybe I'm prejudiced?) But setting aside the question of whether or not your husband's drinking makes him an alcoholic, I can't imagine that this is good for his long-term health. It's also not good for your emotional health or for the health & vitality of your marriage either, as you clearly understand.

You asked if you're a terrible person. No you are not. But you do have a very difficult problem. And you have some (potentially) excruciatingly difficult decisions to make. You didn't mention if you're currently seeing a counselor or therapist. If you are, this situation is certainly something you should be talking about at length & in depth. If you're not seeing someone at the present time, perhaps now is the time to do so. Continuing to turn this situation over-&-over alone in your head is I fear a prescription for ongoing despair.

Here's are links to a selection of articles, from PsychCentral's archives, that hopefully may be of some help to you as you continue to contemplate how to handle this most difficult situation:

https://psychcentral.com/lib/are-you-an-enabler/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/are-yo...r-just-caring/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/what-i...-and-enabling/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to...lic-in-denial/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/if-some...-with-alcohol/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/how-to-...holic-partner/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/welln...nking-problem/

My best wishes to you both...