I would suggest trying online dating. I use OkCupid I see a lot of BDSM in my area that could just be because I live in a big city so more of a diverse group of people. I honestly do not know much about BDSM but I think online dating is a good starting point if you don't know where to start and you can easily deactivate your profile if you realize it just isn't for you!
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Just keep swimming
I have BPD or Autism or both, we may never know, the focus is always the symptoms, not the diagnosis
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