From what you've described it doesn't sound to me that your T is interested in understanding you. When someone wants to understand you they ask many clarifying questions and they don't try to run away from the subject by telling you that they would "think about it".

What's there to think about? If he, as a professional doesn't believe in a certain way of doing the work or in a certain method, he should just say so and explain why he doesn't believe in it. If he is uncomfortable with listening to you talk about how you feel about him or, in professional lingo, with "discussing transference", which he clearly is, that's his personal issue to deal with. This has nothing to do with how well you explain things to him. If he doesn't want to do what you ask him (which he clearly doesn't), no amount of "splaining" would make him do what he doesn't want to do.

The issue I see here is his dishonesty, which, ironically, is masked by his "honest" remarks about how creepy it feels to him to deal with your transference. If this feels creepy to him and if he is so honest, then he should honestly admit that this is HIS problem that creates an obstacle in therapy instead of implying that your need to talk about your feelings is A problem. This is your therapy and your need to talk about whatever you want to talk about should be respected, not shamed as something "creepy". He has the right to feel however he feels, but if his feelings prevent you from processing what you need to process, he should take responsibility for creating an impasse in therapy and admit to his limitations.

If I were you, I would not invalidate your shame around this. I understand that you have a previous history of being shamed and that any slightly critical feedback could make you feel ashamed. But, in this case, the shame you feel didn't just originate in your past experience. You WERE objectively shamed by your T for needing to talk about your feelings. Saying to someone that their feelings are "creepy" or feel "creepy" is an OBJECTIVELY shaming comment.

From what little information I've read about you and your therapy on this forum, you seem to gravitate towards men who dismiss your needs one way or another, some more harshly, others more covertly and subtly. But all the "actors" you've described in your stories on PC (your H, MC, this T) seem to be dismissive of you and your needs. If I were you, I'd ask myself why I keep tolerating this.