Hi spike, I'm a bit confused. You had an appointment, but when you arrived could not see the pdoc?
Reading your post, it definitely sounds like you need to be on medication. There is always the ER, you know. If I were you, I would not hesitate to go there. Also, are you connected with any other resources...a Wellness Center, a NAMI support group, others in your location with mental illness who can give you support and practical advice?