My partner and I have been together for 7 years and lately I can find myself thinking of little else besides running away and being on my own. I've always struggled with self esteem issues, anxiety, and depression and he used to be able to help me stay afloat, but lately I feel like being around him just makes me want to die - partly because I feel so desperate to be alone, and partly because I feel so guilty for feeling this way. We've never had a very "traditional" relationship (polyamorous) so it's not like I don't have some freedom, but for some reason I just want to completely isolate myself right now which I haven't felt in the years we've been together. I've vented to a few people about this and they've all just told me I should stick it out and it's just a 7-year itch. He can sense there's something different between us, too, and has expressed that I should just leave if I'm not happy with him. There isn't anything abusive going on or anything like that. I just feel like we want different things from life, and I'm tired of feeling like I belong to him. I've always been a loner and the more I think about it the more I think I'd rather die alone than be obligated to take care of someone else. Am I being silly for being so desperate to be alone? Will these feelings pass? Part of the reason this is on my mind is because I am (for the first time) at a point in my life where I can afford to live alone comfortably - and we are in the process of selling our house and buying a bigger one. I can't help but think that I'd rather take the money from the sale to go our own ways and have some financial security rather than tying ourselves to a new mortgage together and potentially having a much messier breakup down the road. I'm just afraid I'm about to make a decision I'm going to horribly regret, no matter which path I choose. It's so hard for me to trust myself because I know that I can go through phases of irrational isolation and irritability, but I also have a history of staying in relationships way too long and letting them end bitter and bloody which I don't want to do either.

Does anyone else have experience with this? What did you choose and why?